UCLA Police Eye Threats over Anti-Asian Video

Looks like the YouTube ranting UCLA Girl received threats and has gone underground. From the bunker of shame, Alexandra Wallace told the campus newspaper, The Daily Bruin:

“Clearly the original video posted by me was inappropriate. I cannot explain what possessed me to approach the subject as I did, and if I could undo it, I would. I’d like to offer my apology to the entire UCLA campus. For those who cannot find it within them to accept my apology, I understand.”

She is a poli-sci major, which usually means law school aspirations. Does she have political ambitions? If so, she did pretty well in her apology, considering she has no spokesperson.

My message to Alexandra:

Stay in the bunker for a couple days to think about your next move. I am a UC alumna, so we both know that when the Chancellor has to respond publicly about your screw up, you’re screwed. I’m not sure if you’ll be disciplined, but you’ll see that the infamy itself is quite a burden.

I have many years of experience in observing scandals. In my self-professed expert opinion, you have two options:

1. If you’re looking to milk your 15 minutes of infamy, the modeling photos that surfaced (like the one above) may be your ticket. If you get offers from magazines, choose Playboy. That’s your best bet, and you might get a reality show out of it. I can see it now. VH1: Alexandra Goes to Charm School. Your classmates are all Asian girls. I picture Lucy Liu as the Head Mistress. Start dropping hints to Playboy yourself, or quietly get an agent from the bunker. Remember, the clock is ticking. 14:59, 14:58…

2. If you want to go back to living a normal life, you’ll have to pray that UCLA students have a short memory. If it gets to be too much, you may have to transfer to a college out of state. I suggest dyeing your hair. Maybe even consider changing your name.

Whichever you choose, for God’s sake, stay off YouTube!!