Trump Says No to Presidential Run

Man, what a bummer. I was so looking forward to both of them running. The Donald more so than Huckabee. Trump’s campaign was a train wreck waiting to happen. Now, it won’t even leave Grand Central. Being a total famewhore, I thought for sure he would run. It was all a ploy to get people to watch Celebrity Apprentice, Sundays, 9:00 PM. Now that Gary Busey and NeNe are gone, why bother?

If you listen closely, the faint wailing is the collective crying of Saturday Night Live writers. I feel your pain. What are we going to do without Mom Jeans and the Hairtrocity?