Tag Archives: Jersey Shore
The Money’s in Abstinence! Ask Bristol
Bristol Palin Earns $262,000 as Abstinence Ambassador
Dang, the Palins sure know where to find the money. It’s in books, E-List celebrity dance shows, and apparently, abstinence advocacy. Bristol got paid many pretty pennies for imploring teens not to have sex, even though she did and has a baby to prove it.
That, in itself, is a little weird. I get that the message is, “learn from my mistake,” but it comes off as, “do as I say, not as I do.” She says that being a teen mom is hard so girls should think twice before having sex. Yet, she was on Dancing with the Stars and making really bad PSAs with Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore. She looks like she has this carefree, glamorous life. Definitely not the reality of 99% of teen moms.
BTW, no one from Jersey Shore should be anywhere near an abstinence education video. Everytime I catch that show, I want to power wash every inch of their house with bleach.
How about shooting a video of a sleepless Bristol at 3:00 AM trying to soothe a colicky, crying Tripp. That is way more realistic. It makes being a teen mom look as difficult as it really is.
The stranger part of this story is how much the Candie’s Foundation spent on abstinence-only education vs. how much they paid her to be their spokesperson. Bristol Palin’s Nonprofit Paid Her Seven Times What It Spent On Actual Teen Pregnancy Prevention. $35K on grants to clinics and health education centers, but Bristol gets a cool quarter mil.
Not only that, their abstinence only campaigns are laced with sex. Check out these tank tops they sell that say, “I’m Sexy Enough To Keep You Waiting.” Huh? That is just bizarre-o to me. Vow not to have sex, but wear that top to tease your boyfriend and his blue balls?
The Candie’s Foundation is serious about selling their branded line of Juniors clothing, accessories, and shoes. They’re obviously not serious about selling abstinence-only education because they suck at it. Mixed messages and very little money going to actual, real-life education shows just how much.
Bristol is more than happy to take their money, I’m sure. I wonder if she gets their cheap, slutty shoes for free. Even without them, what a sweet deal.
UCLA Girl: Dropping Out, a Blog, and Jersey Shore?
Holy Cannoli! Alexandra Wallace is dropping out of UCLA!!
Here’s her letter:
In an attempt to produce a humorous YouTube video, I have offended the UCLA community and the entire Asian culture. I am truly sorry for the hurtful words I said and the pain it caused to anyone who watched the video. Especially in the wake of the ongoing disaster in Japan, I would do anything to take back my insensitive words. I could write apology letters all day and night, but I know they wouldn’t erase the video from your memory, nor would they act to reverse my inappropriate action.
I made a mistake. My mistake, however, has lead to the harassment of my family, the publishing of my personal information, death threats, and being ostracized from an entire community. Accordingly, for personal safety reasons, I have chosen to no longer attend classes at UCLA.
Alexandra Wallace
But that’s not all! According to Daddy Wallace, Alexandra wants to start her own blog. The rant wasn’t supposed to be a one-time deal. She intended to shoot more videos.
UCLA Student who Posted Anti-Asian Viral Rant is from Fair Oaks
Daddy Wallace is beaming with pride. He posted on his Facebook page, “She’s asking for domain suggestions for ‘Asians on their cellphones in the library!’ She’s shooting videos as I write.” He also wrote that she was going to be an audience member at the Jersey Shore Reunion Show.
This must be the proudest moment in a father’s life. A skanky daughter who insults Asians around the world and is driven to drop out. Her skanky modeling pictures surface. And being cast for the audience of a skanky MTV show? It’s almost overwhelming. Someone hand him a tissue. I think his eyes are welling up.
Well, now we know why she’s all f’ed up. An idiot tree doesn’t produce geniuses.
If she starts a blog, she will have an instant audience. Those who support her – yes, they’re out there under rocks and in swamps – will become her following. Others will just look at it like most people do with train wrecks. You can’t not look.
My message to Alexandra: Keep the momentum going. Maybe publish one more from the bunker of shame. Stay well hidden, though, because I think there’s a fatwā on your bleached blonde head. Milk the 15 minutes for all it’s worth. If your popularity starts waning, you can always accidentally leak a sex tape.
Spin the Globe
